I think it’s different this time...

Here's a poem that I wrote on friendship in September, 2011. It has been almost five years. Today being Friendship Day, it was apt to post this and kick-start my blogging journey. Back then, I had little confidence in my ability to write poems and articles. But my interactions with my friend - Varun motivated me to start and this was my first piece of work.

I think it’s different this time...

I can see, I can feel, I wish I could believe

It’s the past that holds me back, those thoughts hold me back

There’s a deep sense of longing, a deep sense of loss...

Lost you once, lost you twice

I am ready to pay any price,

To ensure there is no thrice

I think it’s different this time...

First, I lost him- my mistake;

Next, I lost her- her mistake

Now, I hope it is not You...

For, I have always had a very few...

While it was Give and only Give in his case,

Take and only Take in her case,

I see a balance here, there is both Give and Take

 No act is a measured one, everything is so natural

That I think it’s different this time...

After two successive losses, it took me some time;

I tried hard to stay away from you

Two whole years... you came into my life so many times

Your promises were like the words inscribed on stone, I thought

Little did I know, you were a passing cloud as no rain you brought

None seemed to last long... Will it be the same with you?

I hope not.... I think it’s different this time...

This time, it’s you who is making the little compromises

I shall not let them go in vain

For I know, when I made such (futile) sacrifices

How difficult it was, to go through the pain

Let me know when I cross the line

When I take away something which is not mine

Something on which I have no right

Please forgive me... let us not fight

The world also thinks it’s different this time...

I don’t feel bad, I know it’s not a crime

I care not, of what people say,

It’s all a part of HIS beautiful play

If it is in our fate, to part; so be it, yet another time...

Yet, we shall be connected by thought

And there shall be no fear of being mocked

Although the time spent could be short, I know about you, a lot

To continue to tell my heart, it was different this time...

At times, I feel... darkness is better than blurred vision

At least it lets you have blind faith

The faith- that starts to fade slowly

When you desperately try to (fore)see in the dim light

Stop! Let me put a stop to these thoughts

Why should I try to connect the dots?

There is a ray of hope, that this time it is not a dope

I think it’s different this time...

It’s as true as GOD’s own word

It’s as pure as Mother’s love

It’s as beautiful as the Nature, itself

No envy, no greed, no negative feeling, whatsoever...

I THINK it’s different this time

But.....

Every single time I have thought so...

It always ended, leaving a scar behind...

However,

 I shall cease not, to hope...

As hope shall translate into reality

The day will come soon...

When I shall THINK not, I shall KNOW, for sure, that

It is indeed different this time...